it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
