Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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