playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
