You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize