im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize