Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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