i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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