I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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