After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
