Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
