butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize