Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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