is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
