i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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