you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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