so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
