Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
