The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
