Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
FYI - Donβt go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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