his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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