If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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