I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
