Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
