I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
