who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
