I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
