i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
