Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
