Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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