thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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