he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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