Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
