well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
