Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We're too hungover to prance.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
