found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
