when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize