You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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