Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm like, not good at living.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
