I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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