u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
