He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
