farters have to be the big spoon...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am one with the molecules
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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