just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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