she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize