Welp...herpes.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
