you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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