Duck Duck Cougar?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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