either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How's work?
Spinning.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
