I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't put those talents on a resume
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
