nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize