somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
