he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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