This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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