looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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