Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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