Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
