I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
