we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she looked like the before picture.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
