If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
