some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
