So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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